From the Book - 1st U.S. ed.
Chapter 1. In which the Author is dazzled by the Metro, finds a cure for haemorrhoids and turns the tables on an unscrupulous shoeshine man
Chapter 2. In which the Author explores the mysteries of the sodomitic gerund, monastic nudity and geocaching
Chapter 3. In which the Author is spat at, flirted with and eventually beheaded
Chapter 4. In which the Author encounters a digital Mahatma, unravels the mystery of Stella of Mudge and engages in solvent abuse
Chapter 5. In which the Author discovers a celluloid wardrobe, is described as a wanker and meets some bestial shoe-cleaners
Chapter 6. In which the Author expectorates a carrot, meets an asthmatic goat and identifies a nappy thief
Chapter 7. In which the Author rediscovers Tintin, prepares for the Olympics and locates the Hand of God
Chapter 8. In which the Author is accused of queue-jumping, delivers a discourse on Mozart and considers the best way of disposing of a dead body
Chapter 9. In which the Author visits Ludlow Castle, learns the meaning of choledocholithotomy and almost buys a packet of condoms
Chapter 10. In which the Author tries to break into jail, falls into a manhole and encounters several tiny terrorists
Chapter 11. In which the Author is phlebotomized, meets a human yo-yo and avoids the cannibals of Noida
Chapter 12. In which the Author climbs a malodorous mountain, reflects on poverty and hope and falls at the feet of King George V
Chapter 13. In which the Author is chased by killer pigs, meets the 'Magnet Man' of West Delhi and has a doleful wander through the Millennium City
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